Fergie Won't Be Calling My Cellphone Anymore

By: Bruce Layman
By: Bruce Layman

Like a song? Do yourself a favor and don't make it a ringtone!

As some of my co-workers know, I tend to go through phases of really liking songs. Such was the case when the Black Eyed Peas performed "Boom Boom Pow" at the recent MTV Music Awards. After that performance, I went to iTunes, downloaded the song and the video and emersed myself in B.E.P. non-stop in the car and at home.

Last week, I came dangerously close to downloading a ringtone of the song, too. It's really weird how so many of us actually agree to pay a fee of up ten bucks a month so we can hear a favorite song come out of a cheap, tinny phone, instead of a "traditional" ringtone.  As if the cost of monthly cell phone service isn't already high enough!

Several years ago, I had a similar liking for a different Black Eyed Peas song that overwhelmed my senses.  Back then, I thought I'd download a ringtone so I could be reminded throughout the day how much I liked it. After all, it would be really cool to have Fergie singing the exact same line from a cheap, tinny phone for a full three to four seconds before I was forced to deal with the call at hand (except for the times it really WAS Fergie calling). 

Of course, I did not take into account at the time how I and most others hate to be interrupted by such song ringtones in public. In fact, there's nothing like a really bizarre vanity ringtone to create a BAD first impression. Why I didn't think of all of this back then before I, an adult, had a hip-hop song blasting away in my pocket, is beyond me. 

The bottom line is that I grew to HATE the ringtone song I had downloaded. It embarrassed me every time my cell phone rang!  It was a reaffirmation of Pavlov's dogs experiment, only this time, I wasn't salivating at the sound of a bell, but rather sweating with humiliation at the sound of Fergie singing about her humps!

Fortunately, before I clicked on the "I Agree" button this weekend, I remembered this traumatic experience from the past and did not repeat it.

Sorry, Ferg.  Hope this doesn't drive a wedge between us.

...Bru.c.e.

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